. A Deputy's Confession.

Sweetwater | Thunder Clan |Medicine cat

A soft breeze swayed the ivy that covered the entrance to the medicine cat den, causing the young she-cat to shiver slightly. It was still green-leaf yet the night breezes that passed through were still touched by the night’s cool air. Sweetwater longed to have Echo sleep beside her once more but as a warrior, he was assigned to a nest in the Warrior’s Den, surrounded by the warm bodies of the clan.

A soft sigh escaped the cabily’s mouth. She could not depend on her brother’s presence always being beside her. She had duties to fulfill.

Turning back to her stack of herbs she had been sorting, she noted how utterly late it was. Dawn was not far off and sleeping in would not look good to her clan-mates. Before she could finish her thoughts, however, the rustle of the vines signaled a cat entering into her den. Sweetwater jumped a little, not expecting any others to be up at this hour.

As she turned, about to scold her visitor about needing their rest, she paused. Ratsong’s lean body stood idle before her, a worried look on her muzzle. The proud, and often quiet, Deputy of Thunder Clan had rarely ever come to see Sweet in her den. In fact, since joining the wild cats of the forest, Sweetater had barely talked to her more than a few sparse words.

"Oh...Hi Ratsong. How can i help you?"

Sweetwater blinked, taking a moment to process the words that her Deputy had just spoken. Her green eyes wondered to the blue’s belly which was only slighty bigger than usual. Many cats may just suspect the female had gained a little weight over this plentifull green-leaf. Prey was running strong.

This was normally wonderful news for a queen, to learn of the new life that was growing within them. But for Ratsong, Sweetwater suspected she felt different. She could tell by the female’s awkward smile that she was excited. But the hinting undertone of worry and the almost-threat she was making told the medicine cat that something was different.

“That’s wonderful Ratsong!” The small caliby spoke in an excited yet hushed tone. Ratsong would be the first queen to bear kits in Thunder while she was the medicine cat. She had only known one other cat to give birth in her short life; a friend of Sparrows long before she joined the clans.

“I will help in any way I can…” She wondered what exactly her deputy was going to do once she started showing. It would only take a few more weeks and for sure by next moon. “But what do you plan to do when you are further along. Surely you will let the others know by then. Or they will start asking questions.”

Her paws starting pacing back and forth along the medicine cat den before she could help herself. Even the blinking of the clan healer was making her nervous and fighting the nerves she knew couldn't be good for her babies wasn't going well either. When Sweetwater finally spoke, she couldn't help but sigh in relief. The Thunderclan deputy couldn't be happier to know that this cat she barely knew was willing to help her.
"Thank you" her eyes shown with gratitude and she finally sat down and tried to calm her fur. It was standing up on all ends as if she had just seen a fox in her territory... or something of the sort. "I know that I should tell the clan, but I have a problem..." Nervous or not, the deputy was starting to get the feeling she could trust the calico cat. Besides, if Sweetwater betrayed her trust, she could always think of a way to get back at her, or at least scare her enough so that word would never get out.
With that thought, she decided she wouldn't probably die if she didn't tell someone her whole story, and turned her head down in shame as she began to share her short, guilt-ridden story of how she came to bare her kits.
" As you know Sweet, when she cats get over six cycles, it becomes harder and harder to bare healthy kits... and I'm not too far from that age. Honestly, I was becoming worried I'd never have the chance to raise another child again... and I think the whole clan knows what happened to my last itter" liquid began to fill up her bright amber eyes as she spoke... she wished she could have kept her kits deaths secret, but words got around, and almost every cat seemed to look at her with sympathy now.
"Anyhow... I was getting desperate... and least to say I'm not sure who the father is, and I don't want to tell the clan till I know.. What if they ask?" The she-cat was aware she was starting to ramble, she felt she'd never talked this much in her entire life, “besides... if there is only one kit, I won’t get much bigger than I am now... What would you do if these were your kits and you were in my position"
Now that she had spilled her secrets to the clan medicine cat, the usually proud Ratsong was starting to feel vulnerable. She wasn't used to sharing so much information at once.

Sweetwater |Thunder Clan | Medicine cat

Sweetwater had indeed heard the story passed along in the clan but never much cared to get involved in the gossiping of others. She had not even been sure if the story was true or not for the strong Deputy she knew showed little outward signs of her past trauma.

The small medicine cat sat quietly, listening, tail wrapped neatly around her paws. She felt truly sorry for Ratsong but did not say so, for fear the blue cat might feel as if being pitied upon. Yet she did not feel the desire this cat held for bearing kits. Maybe it was because she was still young. Or maybe it was because she feared doing to her kits what her own kin had done to her. Yet Sweetwater did her best to sympathize with the she-cat, seeing as the blue trusted her enough to keep her secret.

“I have to say it is unlikely you will bear only one kit, as you are not of a tiny stature. Most queens, even older, will bear two or three at least. And I have heard of cats much older than 6 cycles to bear healthy kits.”

Standing up, Sweetwater motioned for Ratsong to lie down on the next she had built for her patients. Only within the last couple days had she relined it with the down feathers of the birds the warriors had brought home to the clan. She had asked her brother and an apprentice to do the dirty work of pulling out the fluffy undercoat before returning the meat to the fresh kill pile.

Gently, she laid a paw on Ratsong stomach, massaging gently as she felt for the signs of kits. They were certainly there, but still too small to know exactly how many the deputy was expecting.

Ratsong had flinched when the medicine cat touched her, she wasn't expecting the warm feeling on her stomach - which she was now so adamant about protecting. Sure, the last time she bore kittens she'd had an easy pregnancy, she didn’t worry about a thing, but then she had Heckle to protect her. Heckle, her former mate, had left her just weeks before she had given birth to her kits. The situation almost made her glad that she wasn't close to the father... fathers of her kittens.
She tried her best to stay still has the pretty medicine cat felt around her stomach - and could see in her fellow she-cats eyes that having kittens of her own was not in her planned future, and the deputy couldn't help but chuckle. "You may be wise Sweetwater, but you are young, do not doubt that someday you will yearn for the chance to be a mother, and if there’s one thing I can speak to.. it’s that motherhood is a beautiful thing"
The Russian blue knew well that she hadn't been the perfect mother when she had given birth to her first son and daughter, but she was so young then, and she felt now that she was absolutely ready to have another go at such an experience. She kneaded the soft nest that Sweetwater had made for wounded cats and cats like herself in need of aid - it truly was the softest nest she had ever laid on in her lifetime. While she kneaded the soft feathery material, she let her mind wonder - could medicine cat’s possibly know the outcome of her children. She did not quite understand the healer’s methods or ways, but who knew the extent of their knowledge?
“Do you think they'll come out orange?" She asked quite suddenly, looking at Sweetwater with utter curiosity.

Sweetwater | Thunder Clan | Medicine Cat

The older females words spoke truth into Sweetwater’s ears; too young indeed. She had never even considered a mate let alone thinking about having kits of her own. A soft sigh escaped her mouth. “I raised my siblings since I want small. Sparrow often left us alone from sunrise to sunset, looking for food or shelter.” She had never been angry with her adoptive mother for doing so. She had saved her and raised Sweetwater and her brother after all. “I guess she saw me as the most responsible because she always chose me to be in charge.”

She continued to kneed the deputy’s blue fur, feeling for anything that might be out of place. The little medicine cat felt the tinge of worry in her stomach, still inexperienced with the whole process of bearing kits. But she had giver the deputy her word that she would help protect her and her unborn children, so she would so her very best.

A moment of silence past between the two; the blue relaxing at the gentle messaging of Sweetwater’s paws on her belly. The den was quiet and the wind picked up the scent of the freshly stored herbs that had been placed earlier last sun-high. But the deputy’s quiet pondering reached Sweetwater’s ears. There was only one orange male in Thunder Clan: Thunderstar. A prick of alarm quickly turned to curiosity at this tad of information. Did Ratsong really think the kits were Thunderstars? The little female had noticed the two cats spent many hours together throughout the day, and it was more than just clan business.

Of course, what was the harm of a leader and his deputy having kits anyway? Sweetwater supposed it could take away from the duties of being leader and deputy, as it took moons to raise kits; and a fair amount of time and patience as well. But however much Sweetwater wondered, she did not ask. From what she had already heard, Ratsong was worried enough as it was and it would do no good to stress her Deputy further.

“I suppose they could be, yes.” She gave extra effort to put warmth into her voice, hoping to calm Ratsong’s nerves. “Kits always have a tendency to hold surprises.” Softy, she stroked her tail over the blues flank like she had done to calm her siblings so many moons ago.

Ratsong | Thunder Clan |Deputy

Ratsong was far to preoccupied to realize that her question might have given away some information she had intended on keeping secret till the absolute last possible second. Thunderstar and herself weren't an item, but she worried that maybe the Thunderclan leader was growing feelings for her. She didn't want him to feel badly if the kittens came out black. She'd hate it even more if it ruined her chances of staying deputy.

What if he felt she had betrayed him, and therefore the clan? The thought absolutely horrified the blue-grey she-cat.She'd worked so hard to prove her loyalty to her leader - especially after the cat Boarjaw had torn a rift between them. It had been a hard last few moons, but things were starting to get better. Perhaps.. if the kits came out orange, she'd feel much, much safer.

This brought the deputy to her next question, "So kits don't always look like their parents?" this brought her to a wonderful calm. Relaxation was something she hadn't had in a while. Her muscles even relaxed under the medicine cat's soft stroke. Their conversation almost seemed natural, and Ratsong felt that it was possible she could find a friend in the clan's healer.

"Do you think.. perhaps you could accompany me on a hunt when the sun rises, I'd much appreciate it....I... have a lot of questions" She paused, uncertain, "I could use a friend."

Sweetwater | Thunder Clan | Medicine Cat

The little calico shook her head. Even though the blue was not facing her, she still felt it necessary to respond in this way. “No…” She continued quietly. “I have met many cats that did not look like their parents; almost as many as I have that did. I believe…that past generations also contribute. And sometimes, it may just be the stars that decide the outcome.”

Sweetwater turned her green eyes to the sky, gazing at the stars as they sparkled like glass in the sun. The moon was no longer high in the sky, but slowly descending back under the canopy of the forest. It would not be long now until the Dawn patrol awoke.

A warm smile crossed the medicine cats muzzle as the deputy suggested they continue their conversation. “Sure,” was the only answer Sweetwater could give; but it was all she needed. “You may, however, want to get some sleep beforehand.”

Quietly rising, Sweetwater padded nimbly from her spot and into her store room. Upon her return, she laid a small leaf of poppy seeds before the deputy. “These will help you sleep a little easier. You can sleep here and if any cat asks…tell them you woke with a belly ache.” With a stretch of her legs and a brief yawn, the caliby curled up next to the nest where Ratsong lay. It would be nice to have a companion share her den with her tonight.

Ratsong | Thunderclan | Deputy:

Ratsong felt a wave of joy fly over her, the simple thought that starclan would decide her kittens colors made her feel good. She had done a good thing for her clan, by baring this kits - there was no reason starclan should do her wrong by coloring them black as their other possible father. It was good to have such a knoweledgable feline on her side now.

Following que, Ratsong followed Sweetwaters gaze to the stars. She stood to her feet and poked her head about the lichen to see the sky, it was getting lighter - and while it hadn't yet the sun was sure to rize soon. " That would be nice Sweetdawn..." she paused, as she padded back to curl up in the soft nest the medicine cat made for her patients, " Sweetdawn, Its a fitting name for you, you're probably one of the kindest cats I know"

And it was true, she hadn't known a lot of nice cats in her life, and the pretty caliby was kind to her. She was thankful for that, and telling the other her thoughts was her way of saying so. She licked up the poppy seed greatfully - though a little worried of their side effects. She stretched, and yawned widely, before turning over and immediately falling fast asleep. The long night had worn her out - but that the medicine cat's information had finally made her feel comfortable enough to dream.

Sweetwater| Thunder Clan | Medicine Cat

Sweetwater’s cheeks felt hot with embarresment at the deputies kind words. She had been called a great many things in her life but “kind” was not often one of them. The new name Ratsong had proposed was lovely, far too elegant for a cat like herself. But she nodded in respect.

As the blue curled up back in the nest, Sweetwater lifted her head. The stars glowed blightest just before the dawn, Sparrow had always told her. And tonight, the silver-pelted ancestors sparkled like spring water during sun-high. The young medicine cat only hoped that this showed their approval of her actions this night.

Stretching out her paws for one final yawn, the warmth of sleep overtook her. The late night had brought about many things but not a wink of sleep. And as her eyes drooped shut, a soft pur lulling the female into dreams, a small smile crossed the calibies face. For the first time in a long time, the she-cat felt truly happy.

Ratsong | Thunderclan | Deputy:

Ratsong had surely been tired, even as she hadn't meant to call Sweetwater by the wrong name, she had done so feeling it would make the kind she-cat smile. Her mission accomplished - despite her mistake in titling the Thunder clan deputy slept well into the night. Yet, it felt to her as if the moment she closed her eyes, the day was new and the sun was shining.

That had happened to her a lot lately, waking in a way she felt as if sleep did not even grace her. At least this time she had woken up well rested. She had appreciated Sweetwater's help in a way that she could not speak out loud, though as she stretched her body out feeling as if she had no anxiety at all the older deputy felt that she had to show her thanks somehow. How to do that exactly however, she wasn't sure.

She padded carefully out of the comfortable nest that she had lain her head in for the night, and found her stomach was already growling. She rarely felt that it was her right to eat from the fresh kill pile however, and thought it would be good for her and Sweetwater to get to their hunting trip quickly.

"Sweetwater?" She purred looking around the cave until she spotted the pretty young medicine cat.

Sweetwater| Thunder Clan| Medicine cat

The moon had fallen significantly before Sweetwater finally succumb to dreams. And as the early sun peaked through the trees and the clan began to shift, the small caliby once again raised her head. Though brief, her sleep had been enough to get her through the morning. Perhaps she would steal a few heartbeats this evening, when she was sure most everything was accounted for.

Rising from her warm bed, she only then remembered who was still asleep beside her. Pausing, the medicine cat turned around before carefully rising as to not disturb her sleeping deputy. The grey queen looked positively peaceful sleeping there and Sweetwater could not help but stare a bit. But catching herself, she shook her head and moved about the den. The herbs she had sorted last night lay in a heap at the back of the crevice. With all the commotion, Sweet had forgotten to put them away properly and the late-night winds had scattered them once again into a messy pile.

With a heavy sigh, the little cat began to work, every once in a while, stealing a glance at her sleeping companion. Thoughts of Ratsong’s words ran through her head. The secret would be kept but Sweet was unsure of what else she could offer her deputy besides the comfort of her words and the care of her unborn kits.

So distracted she became by this tussle of her mind, Sweetwater neglected to notice that the grey female had awoken and was looking for her.